


Exhala

by ToTheHilt



Category: La Reina del Sur (TV), Queen of the South (TV), Queen of the South (USA Network)
Genre: Attraction, F/M, Family, Grief, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Post 3x06, Pregnancy Scare, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 04:17:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15502137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToTheHilt/pseuds/ToTheHilt
Summary: As relative calm returns, Teresa has to face herself and her pain.





	Exhala

Teresa put the test on the sink and walked out of the bathroom. Her mind was racing. 

 

“Is that what I think it is?” The sound of Pote’s voice startled her. Her stoic protector was suddenly standing in her room, probably to inform her that dinner was ready, but his eyes were zeroed in on the object on the sink all the way from where he was standing.

“Pote.” Teresa couldn’t come up with anything to say.

 

Pote felt her anxiety. He took a deep breath and swallowed the lecture he was itching to give. It wasn’t like it would change the situation at hand.

 

“It’s probably nothing, I just need to be sure.” Teresa explained.

 

“You miss your period?” Pote asked sympathetically. Teresa ran her hand through her hair and gave a small nod. Pote went quiet before he offered her words of comfort. “Don’t worry, Teresita, we’ll figure it out.”

 

A tiny part of Teresa couldn’t help but smile on the inside. She was still dumbfounded by Pote’s loyalty and dedication. His resolve was remarkable. He could have bailed and made things easier for himself many times. But he never did. She wondered what he had gone through to become the man that stood before her. She didn’t ask.

 

She gathered her courage and walked back into the bathroom where the test lay waiting. There was no point in postponing the truth. 

 

She was filled with a sense of relieve. She’d carefully studied the instructions, so when she saw the singular line, she knew pregnancy wasn’t an another issue she had to deal with. 

 

“Teresita?”  She heard Pote inquire from outside the bathroom. 

 

She threw the stick into the trash and walked back out. “We’re good.”

 

* * *

 

Two weeks had gone by since she and James had slept together. It had been a whirlwind. Her life the past year had been non-stop crazy, but this had to be one of the peaks. After fleeing Malta she had settled in Phoenix, not without hitting a few bumps on the road. The deal with La Comisión and taking care of Sheriff Mayo, followed by Devon’s surprise “visit” and being kidnapped and delivered to Camila. Yet it all paled in comparison to being reunited with Guero and losing him. Again.

 

The memory of waking up to his lifeless body, knowing he died in her arms while she was asleep, was excruciating. She had lost Guero once before, or so she had thought, but that did nothing to ease her hurt. And despite all the other losses she had endured, her parents, Brenda, she genuinely felt like the pain would finally rip her to shreds. Her relationship with Guero had been turbulent and heady and losing him had knocked her off her axis. But then again, that seemed to be her default mode. She soldiered on, unrelenting and with fierce dedication. People seemed to think that that was her superpower, but nobody knew how she really felt on the inside, nobody knew the demons that hunted her privately or saw the emotional scars that outmatched her visible ones.

 

Maybe it was because of this pain that she hadn’t taken a moment. James and Pote had buried Guero in an unmarked grave, reminiscent of Brenda’s burial, and she had gone into attack mode. She was no longer taking the high road when it came to Camila or anybody else and she simultaneously focused on cementing her operations. She was firing on all cylinders. Everybody, including James, had given her her space and followed her commands, despite voicing their reservations. It got dicey. To Teresa’s disappointment they hadn’t managed to take out the cancer that was Camila, but they had managed to make a dent and threathen her livelihood.

 

When relative calm returned, Teresa realized she hadn’t had her period. She figured she should have gotten her period about a week ago. Despite having been preoccupied with a million other things, she hadn’t forgotten that she had slept with James.  _ The day before Guero died _ . It could have easily been stress, but since the sex was kind of spur of the moment and without protection, she had to be sure. She hadn’t been on birth control. 

 

As she went to buy a pregnancy test at a gas station she remembered the waiter. She figured it was very plausible Camila’s sicarios had gotten to him when they canvased Malta looking for her. While waiting in line she suddenly felt a sharp pang of guilt as she wondered if he was still alive. They had used a condom at least. But still, what if he was decomposing on the bottom of the ocean while she was pregnant with him? As if this innocent man being murdered and possibly tortured wasn’t screwed up already. She felt nauseous.

 

* * *

 

Tonto and Charger were busy setting the table as Pote took over the ladle from Kelly Anne. “You better not have burned dinner, gabacha.” Pote said jokingly. Charger chuckled.

 

“Oh, come on. You were gone for two seconds. Now, I ain’t one for cooking, but I think I can manage stirring a pot?” Kelly Anne replied.

 

Pote put the finishing touches on their dinner and Teresa joined him at his side. As he stirred he looked at her and put one of his arms around her shoulder. She rested her head. James walked in the room and took a seat at the table as he shot a glance at Pote and Teresa. 

 

Teresa inhaled deeply. “It smells amazing.” She remarked, at which Pote held the ladle out for her to taste. “Mmhh.. You never told me where you learned how to cook.”

 

Pote carried the pan over to the table. “My abuelita taught me. When I was little, I really liked her cooking, so she made sure to teach when I was a niñito.” 

 

“That sounds about right.” Charger teased as he provided everyone with wine.

 

Pote shot him an annoyed look. As everybody settled he raised his glass. “To Guero.”

 

Teresa looked up at Pote, surprised by his gesture. Everyone responded by raising their glass. “To Guero.” 

 

They started their meal.

 

* * *

 

After dinner everyone went their own way. James thought he’d get some training in. 

 

As he lifted the weights above his chest, Pote appeared in the doorway. He walked in and closed the door behind him. He simply stared at James threateningly in typical Pote fashion. James tried to ignore it.

 

“Cuidado chamaco. If you hurt her I’ll skin you alive and make you into a jacket.”

 

James had no interest in having this conversation with him, but he figured he might as well. He could pretend like there was nothing going on between himself and Teresa, but seeing as Pote had seemed to notice there was something between them all along, it seemed futile. At least he wasn’t against him being there anymore. “I’m giving her her space…” He placed the dumbell back on the rack and sat up. “It’s nice what you did up there, mentioning Guero.”

 

“I never liked the pinche pendejo, but he meant a lot to her. It seemed right.” 

 

James agreed wholeheartedly.

 

“But this is not about Guero. I’m serious, cabrón. Don’t screw it up. And you two have to be careful. This ain’t no place to raise a kid.” 

 

James raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

 

“You gotta think with your head, lover boy, not your dick.” Pote said as he left James by himself.

* * *

 

James went outside for a smoke. He needed to process. Pote had some nerve. But he was harmless, for now. What had he been talking about anyway? Was Pote seriously telling him to glove up? How did he even know they had sex? It happened once. Sure, without a condom. It wasn’t Teresa’s style to divulge that type of information, or any information really. Did Pote just assume?  _ Jesus. _

 

He looked out into the dark sky. He still didn’t think he deserved Teresa. And while Pote seemed to trust him more, he clearly didn’t think James deserved her either. Teresa was the kind of person who’d sacrifice herself for others, for strangers. She was the strongest and most morally grounded person he’d ever met, yet she managed to see the goodness in people who didn’t deserve it. He was one of them. 

 

But what good would it do to leave her. They worked well together even though they butted heads at times. Plus, he wanted to be there to protect her. He told himself he’d stay for as long as she’d have him, in whatever capacity. This was where he belonged. 

 

He noticed movement on top of one of the living units. His guard went up. A dark figure was seated near the edge. His eyes adjusted and he recognized Teresa. She saw him too. They watched each other. She didn’t move. James scrunched his nose and flicked his cigarette. He took a deep breath.   
  


 

* * *

 

Teresa heard a knock on her door. She went inside slowly opened the door. There he stood. She let him in.

 

“You alright?”  James asked.

 

She hadn’t really interacted with him much apart from talking about the operations and him checking to see if she was okay or needed anything. They had both put the intimacy that was growing between them on the back burner. But that didn’t mean either of them had forgotten. 

 

“Yeah.” She uttered, barely audible. She took a seat on her bed and combed her hair out of her face with her fingers.

 

James took in the resilient yet broken women seated in front of him.

 

“How are you?” She asked him.

 

“You’re asking me how I’m doing?”

 

“Is this what you signed up for? Dealing with Guero. Going to war with Camila.” She smiled hollowly.

 

He knew what she was doing. He sat down next to her and held his hand to her face. “Hey, hey. I’m here okay? I’m not going anywhere. Unless you want me to. I’m with you.”

 

Teresa looked into his eyes. She kept her composure.  _ Did she ever let herself go?  _ He’d only ever witnessed her break down once. 

 

“Look it’s no secret that I wasn’t a fan of Guero, but you two had history. And I know he loved you. He’d do anything for you if he taught it would protect you, in his own way. I saw it. It’s okay to mourn him. This is not about me.”

 

Her eyes started watering and James desperately wished he could take the woman’s pain away. 

 

“You can let go, Teresa.” He assured her. He kissed the top of her head.

 

Tears started running down her face and he held her to him. He felt the stiffness in her posture. But as he held her longer she eased into him, her body hitching with complete and utter heartbreak. He moved them further onto the bed, leaning against the bedpost, and pulled her into his lap. 

 

* * *

 

All the tears she could possibly cry had left her system. James’ arms remained around her, holding her tight. She rested against his chest as it was covered by his now tear drenched shirt, causing the fabric to cling to his torso. With his head leaning on hers, his breaths played with her hair and caressed her neck and chest. He was warm, sharing his body heat with her, as if they were one. 

 

His hand rubbed circles on her back and she started to experience tiny flutters every time his hand would reach the more sensitive spot on her back.

 

She put her hand against James’ chest and started mapping out his torso. She looked up at his face to find him watching her intently. He wanted to kiss her. His kiss was gentle but deep. She moved up to his height and he supported her as she positioned her legs on either side of him. His hands desperately tried to close a nonexistent distance between her body and his, grabbing at her waist and hips. Struggling to break away from her lips he took off her pullover and left soothing kisses on her neck. She raised his shirt over his head. She studied his tattoos as he responded by unhooking her bra so she could take it off. He caressed her breast and nipples and she took quivering breaths. She unclasped his belt buckle and unbuttoned his pants. She slipped her hand into his boxers. He let out a groan. 

 

He took a hold of her hips and flipped her on her back, resting himself between her legs. He now slipped his hands into her underwear. Teresa felt herself wettening rapidly. He rubbed her nub and she squirmed and ran her hands through his hair. As he sprawled kisses over her upper body, he let his hands and fingers work her until she was practically begging. Her beauty baffled him. He wanted to make her feel good all the time. 

 

He broke contact to take off the rest of their clothing. James lowered herself onto her and caressed her entrance as he pleasured himself.

 

He stopped. “Shit. I don’t have condom.”

 

“I’ll take care of it tomorrow.” She assured him and she covered his mouth with her own before he could protest. He probably wasn’t a hundred percent sure the timing was right. But Teresa was thankful he was willing to give her what she wanted. He entered her slowly, spreading her walls. His entire system filled with pure delight.

 

Teresa grabbed ahold of his back. _ God he felt good. _

  
  


* * *

  
Teresa woke with James spooning her. He was awake already. They just layed there. 

 

”We gotta be more careful.” James suddenly spoke.

 

It caught Teresa off guard. Did he know?

 

“I’m pretty sure Pote told me we need to use protection last night.” James shared. Through his facial expression Teresa could see he was dumbfounded, disgusted and indignant regarding Pote’s overstep. Yet a faint of amusement graced his face.

 

“What? Pote said that? I’m going to kill him.” Teresa felt slightly embarrassed by the situation. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It was negative. I just wanted to know for sure. Pote saw the test.” She apologized.

 

It took James a second to figure out what Teresa was talking about. “Wait, you thought you were pregnant?” His tone became serious.

 

_ Right.  _ A small smile appeared on Teresa’s face. James didn’t know. “It was nothing.” 

 

James raised his eyebrows at the revelation. “That explains a lot.” He noted.

 

Teresa remained silent. While it wasn’t that uncomfortable to talk and think about having sex with James. It was still kind of surreal and absurd. 

 

“He’s right.” James added.

 

Of course he was. If they were going to do this more often, they couldn’t take any risks. Were they going to do this more often? She kissed his lips gently. Anxiety and sense of security at war. 

**Author's Note:**

> Just a lil scribble (I apoligize if my usage of Spanish is incorrect/inauthentic)
> 
> The song Irene by Rodrigo Amarante partially inspired this. I had it on repeat while writing. I randomly listened to this song right before watching 3x06 and after watching I came back to it.
> 
> It's been a favorite song of mine for a while. It's in Portugese, which I don't understand, but it still so clearly and delicately conveys the sense of having lost someone. I think it fits with Teresa's arc and this fic because of ALL the loss she's had to endure. Losing her parents, Brenda, choosing to sever her connection to Tony, the security she's never had in her life, losing Guero, the loss of the person she was with Guero and the time they had together (even it was too good to be true). No matter what you think of Guero, when you see the flashbacks, it's clear that he meant a lot to her and she has a lot of emotional memories. Irene's melancholy matches that I think. 
> 
> It's also very tranquil, which fits this specific calm after the storm setting but also matches Teresa. Teresa is not dramatic, but rather tranquil and steady, despite her circumstances. She suffers in silence.


End file.
